Trying to win the approval of your in-laws can be a long journey. It doesn’t stop in giving them grandchildren — they’ll surely still have something to say about your life. You’ll have to work hard to adjust to the different personalities you will encounter at every gathering. Once you spend more time with them, you’ll learn that they can be tolerable. You will realize that sometimes it’s not because something’s wrong with you but because it’s just their personality.
A person who gets to have genuinely kind in-laws is lucky. Most especially when they are treated like family even before marriage. They will be your extended family — like you naturally belong in their circle. However, some in-laws are downright disrespectful and horrible family members. The ones you can’t tolerate, and you must be tough to survive their treatment. Recently, a Reddit user shared her experience with a passive-aggressive mother-in-law. She was so offended that toaster_inthebathtub couldn’t help but walk out of her own baby shower.
OP is pregnant with her and her husband’s second child, and they already have a daughter with epilepsy — which is a significant detail in her story. Since OP met her mother-in-law, she has experienced many mistreatments —including making her husband a Tinder account to set him up with another girl. Her husband disapproves of his mother’s actions and calls her out. But it is to no avail. She keeps finding ways to sabotage the marriage and make OP feel dejected.
She has let every insensitive action pass, but the last straw happened during her baby shower. OP planned not to invite her mother-in-law, but her husband was against it. The backhanded comment was about her first daughter, and that was terribly hurtful for a mother. OP shared, “At the baby shower, I was telling everyone how our baby was once again a girl. My MIL then decided to say, ‘Wow another girl! Let’s hope she’s not like her sister.’ I asked what she meant by that, and she said, ‘We don’t need any other diseases in the family.'”
It was a subtle insult, but toaster_inthetub realized that her mother-in-law did cross the line. “At first I was honestly confused as she clearly had 0 idea what she was talking about. But then the pregnancy hormones really kicked in, and I started crying hysterically. I left my friend’s house and my mother drove me home.”
After leaving the event, she had an encounter with her husband that made her feel even worse. Instead of comforting her, the husband painted her as ungrateful. OP explained what really happened at the baby shower, but her husband still defended his mother. He did not even acknowledged how brave it was for his wife to draw the line regarding their daughter.
With everything that has happened, toaster_inthebathtub chose to leave her husband and stay with her mother. The husband kept aggravating the situation by sending text messages that were nowhere near supportive. OP also shared life updates; the details are obvious signs that she should get out of the relationship. Strangers from the internet are more understanding of her situation than those she spent her life with. Reddit users validated her feelings and pushed her to cut all ties. More importantly, her father-in-law shared that they knew their son was cheating with another woman.
“Read this OP! You’re NTA. Get out. Don’t have your daughters grow up in that environment. They will see how you are treated and think that that’s the norm. You deserve better!” CrazyCatLadyEva commented. It is indeed not the best household to raise children, from what we can see. Such issues can cause childhood traumas that they will carry up until they are adults. It’s best to keep them away from a toxic environment and people who don’t promote honesty.
The amount of support for OP has already reached 8.3k upvotes and 1.4k comments. Redditors showered her with validation that helped her get through such a rough time. Her experience was no joke, especially because she was exposed to stressors that might affect her pregnancy.
Thankfully, she added updates to her post and kept on thanking Reddit users for lending her the strength she needed during those times. Better read the whole story, especially the updates on OP’s post. Utilize the internet well by leaving a reassuring comment — your words can lighten someone’s heart.