Parents do not only exist to provide a child’s basic needs, such as housing, food, medical care, and education. A child must be nurtured in a healthy and loving home. Their emotional needs are as important as their physical health. Parenting can be difficult, but expressing affection should be your priority. Children may grow estranged from their very own parents — causing a rift in a supposed-to-be lovely relationship. For people that grew up in an emotionally unavailable environment, they learn to expect less and seek warmth from others outside the family. People should assess their parenting skills whenever they can. Childhood experiences hugely contribute to a person’s life — the inner wounds caused by their family can be carried until old age.
Children and teenagers may find it difficult to express their pain, because they may sound ungrateful. It sometimes reflects on their actions. All they ever wanted was to feel or see that the people who brought them to the world acknowledged their existence. Affection can be expressed in a million ways, yet a parent still falls short sometimes. The piled-up issues can gradually spill and get uncovered on the most important occasions. In Economy-Guarantee244’s case, she made her father aware of his shortcomings after her graduation. OP has been troubled with how her father and his new wife emotionally neglected her. It was painful for the child, but she carried it well by fully accepting the situation.
Economy-Guarantee244 hasn’t celebrated much with her family except birthdays. But for most of her life, all events have been celebrated with her friends. She started her own tradition — expectations had led her nowhere. She may lack familial attention, but her friends have made everything bearable. Her friend’s mother even knows her situation at home and decided to bake her a cake during her birthdays. When OP graduated from high school, she spent time with her friends in NYC with the money she saved. Up until graduating from a university, she never bothered to anticipate anything from her father.
Little did she know, her father arranged a party for her. OP was only made aware of it when her family asked her why she missed the party. “I guess my dad had planned a big party for me as a surprise, but I didn’t show up because I went out with my friends instead. When my family started asking me why I didn’t show up after my father had gone through all the effort for me, I explained that he hadn’t celebrated anything of mine in ten years, and I didn’t know he had planned to do so this time,” OP wrote. To make matters worse, the father tried to gaslight her — claiming that OP’s revelation wasn’t true. But Economy-Guarantee244 was prepared to defend her side. She asked him to post photos of the celebrations they had before.
Naturally, he wasn’t able to show photos since OP said the truth. Economy-Guarantee244’s family called him out, which angered the father. The inner wounds OP carried since she was young uncontrollably spilled. It’s good that she was able to give her father something to reflect on while she starts a new life. Many Redditors validated OP’s response, especially since she didn’t deliberately skip the party her father prepared. “Definitely NTA. You can’t attend a party you didn’t know about! He’s now mad because you called him out on his lies and proved to his family that he hasn’t actually celebrated anything for you in years. It makes him look bad, obviously, and that’s what he’s mad about. You do you! Good luck with your new job and your move!” jacksonlove3 wrote.
Some people even added proof of how absent the father is in OP’s life. “And since she went out with friends, he obviously didn’t invite any of them either. Probably because he has no idea who her friends are,” CptAgustusMcCrae said. Redditors pointed out a lot of things that all made sense and led to the conclusion that OP did nothing wrong. Even if it was a surprise party, the father should have prepared a way for his daughter to arrive where the surprise will occur. Usually, people ask someone to lead the celebrant to the surprise party, but since there was no one to do that, OP would certainly miss it.
The issue is meant to be revealed, and it’s up to the father to own his mistakes. OP is determined to start anew — healing from the mistakes of the adults in her family. If you relate to Economy-Guarantee244’s family issues, you can share your thoughts in the comment section. Many people are still haunted by parents’ inability to treat their children right. Reddit posts are helpful ways to release that pain and connect with those who understand.