Is Chivalry Really Dead, or Did This Man’s Girlfriend Just Overreacted Over Pumping Gas?
The world has finally moved on from gender roles — women are now seen as an equal and not inferior. They can have a career and business and compete in male-dominated industries. At home, wives can also do rough work such as carpentry, fixing pipes, changing tires, etc. Rather than always being deemed as soft and delicate, ladies also possess strong qualities. It’s beautiful how society is starting to admire women not only for their looks but also for their intelligence. Women have voices that the world needs to hear — contributing to the community just as much as men can.
Practicing gender equality is expected in relationships, but sometimes it can be confused with a lack of chivalry. A guy who lets their girlfriend or wife do all the hard work is frowned upon. Some women expect their partner to give a helping hand or be initiative during specific tasks. This causes conflict and raises a lot of questions about their relationship. Perhaps the guy completely trusts his girlfriend’s capabilities and does not want to interfere. No_Appearance_1172 had this issue with his partner, and he shared the story on Reddit. It all started at a gas station.
According to OP, his girlfriend picked him up after work because his car was being repaired. Everything was alright, and there were no issues, even though his girlfriend was a new driver’s license holder. The conflict started when they had to pump gas. “We pull up to the machine, she looks at me funny for a moment, doesn’t say anything & then gets out the car & starts pumping her gas. When she gets back in the car, I ask her what the funny look was for & she says, “Really? How do I have a man in the car & I’m the one pumping gas?” OP shared.
Their conversation turned into a debate — his girlfriend was extremely furious because he did not offer help. The woman questioned if OP wasn’t even embarrassed about letting her pump gas by herself. No_Appearance_1172’s response aggravated the situation as he said, “No, I was actually quite comfortable & if I wasn’t here, wouldn’t you have to pump the gas by yourself anyway?” And then the girlfriend answered back, “But that’s the point. You’re here. A woman should never have to pump gas while a man’s in the car. My dad, uncle, cousin, brother, nephew, whoever, would’ve never just done what you did just now.”
The argument went on and on until vehicles started to line up behind them. A guy had to approach them to check whether they’d leave. To make matters more awkward, the girlfriend used the guy as an opportunity to prove her point. “She rolls down the window & asks him, ‘If your girlfriend or wife was driving, would you still pump her gas?’ He says, ‘Uhhh, probably?’ & she looks at me, victory, & we finally move,” OP wrote. The debate did not end there, and when OP couldn’t take it anymore, he got out of his girlfriend’s car and left. It became an even bigger deal when the girlfriend’s friends started sending him angry messages.
Rather than using his energy to fight with his partner, OP focused on finals week and became busy. Until the holidays arrived, the debate still bugged him — he had to seek the opinion of others. His extended family was there, so he took it as a chance to get some answers. However, sides were chosen, and his family started arguing with each other. “I’m confused because all the men are saying yes, but all the women are saying that, while they appreciate the men doing it, they can also do it by themselves, even when a man is in the car.” For this reason, No_Appearance_1172 had to consult the people of Reddit to widen his reach.
The majority of comments agreed with OP and are bothered by the girlfriend’s behavior. “NTA Your girlfriend is inconsiderate and immature. This is coming from a woman who can pump her own gas thank you very much. Did she expect you to pay for it too?” twethereal wrote. People responded to the comment and shared their experience with pumping gas. NeighborhoodNo1583 said, “It has genuinely never occurred to me, in the 30-odd years I’ve been driving, that my passenger should pump my gas. Is this common?” Others also explained the times their passengers had to do it for them. People pointed out that it was very sexist of the girlfriend to think that way.
One of the most upvoted comments is from honey-smile, which says, “You guys have two different expectations, which isn’t in itself a problem. You pump the gas, she pumps the gas – who cares really? To each their own. However, how she treated you during this clash of expectations is a huge problem. She had an expectation of you that she didn’t communicate, and instead of communicating that expectation and having a kind conversation about it, she pretty much just attacked you. That’s not ok.” A lot of points were on fire, and you can read all of that below OP’s post. You might want to write down your take on the issue — is chivalry dead, or was it just a sexist opinion?
