When a woman has conceived a child, it is understood that she will be eating for two people. She needs to consume all the good nutrients she can get to provide her baby with nothing but the best. That is why it is vital to surround her with caring people. A mother’s needs must be prioritized, and people around her must take the initiative. But caring for the mother does not just stop after the labor, as her hard work continues to nurture her baby for excellent development.
During the breastfeeding stage, the mother’s diet can affect her baby’s nutrient intake. For this reason, she must eat more than she used to — skipping meals is a big no! If she is too busy with the baby, the husband or anyone around her should remind her to eat. When possible, the mother’s support system should also try to make sure they cook and provide meals for her. Mothers will do their best for their babies, and they deserve to be shown appreciation with affirmations and acts of service.
A person from Reddit complained about a problem she had regarding this topic and was backed up by the platform’s users. She goes by the username Got50977, and her post gained 34.6k upvotes and 5.9k comments. According to her post, her mother-in-law started living with them after she gave birth to her son. But instead of being relieved someone was there to help, OP felt stressed with the mess in their house. She wanted to complain, but her husband kept siding with his mother.
“My husband’s mom has been camping in the living room ever since and inviting people over, making a mess in the house, etc. I said nothing because if I open my mouth, my husband would start scolding me saying his mom is there to help and I should be grateful. What I did was ignore her and focus on my son,” OP explained.
She wanted to complain about how the mother-in-law never helped with the baby or most of the household chores. Nevertheless, she was cooking for them, and Got50977 tolerated her mother-in-law’s presence at home. OP chose to focus her energy on her son until something about dinner triggered her.
“Last night, I was in the bedroom breastfeeding my son. I knew I was late for dinner, but I thought that my husband and his mom saved a plate for me. Once I got done with my son, I walked out the room and saw my husband and his mom sitting watching tv. I asked about dinner and my husband said it was ‘probably’ on the stove.” As OP looked for food, her mother-in-law clarified that nothing was left for dinner. The mother-in-law assumed she would not eat because OP did not join them for dinner.
Since OP was too tired from doing motherly duties, she could not help but yell out all her frustrations. She felt like her mother-in-law was only there to take care of herself and her son, especially when OP was busy being a mother herself. The mother-in-law brushed her off and blamed her for missing out on dinner. Although her husband heard her complaints, he still chose to protect his mother and scolded OP. They argued about it, but no one understood why it was a big deal for her. It was the last straw for Got50977, which led her to a decision to leave the house with her newborn son.
“My brother came, and I got into the car and left,” OP shared. “He picked up some food for me on the way, and I ate like a hungry bear. My husband never stopped calling, though. In his last text, he called me ‘nuts’ and demanded I return today, but I said that I miss my mom, that I like it here in her clean home with her healthy food, and would like to stay for a while.” Until the end, the husband never really heard her and continued to believe that she was just being petty over food.
It was horrible of him to let his wife feel like she was not working hard enough for their child. Reddit users could not stop calling out such actions — the husband and mother-in-law were not really the best companions while going through motherhood. “Breastfeeding while on an empty stomach. That’s like going into debt. There should’ve been heaping mounds of food waiting for you,” Yeznag commented. Since the mother-in-law was a “mother” herself, she should be the one who can understand OP’s situation and know exactly what a mother needs during that stage.
A lot of people in the comment section gave her pieces of advice. Even strangers from the internet could recognize the root cause of the problem. The mother-in-law and husband are undoubtedly problematic. OP’s decision to stay where she is loved was right, as she needs it more than anything else. Her husband’s actions are apparent red flags that should be considered. No one should spend their entire lives with someone like the husband or the mother-in-law — it will never be a healthy environment for the child to grow in the future.