When parents get separated from their babies, they cannot help but be worried about them, even when it’s just for hours. It’s difficult for moms and dads to take their eyes off their children — they have a constant urge to always be by their side. However, there are particular circumstances where a baby must be taken away from a parent. It can be due to abuse, neglect, or the inability to make proper life decisions. Sometimes the kid would be taken by organizations or a relative that will act as their legal guardian. Those who plan on getting custody of the child must do it legally. The court will base its verdict on who’s more financially, morally, and mentally fit to be a legal guardian.
If a parent is leading a chaotic life, it might bring trauma to the child. Pent-up frustrations might be piled on the kid, which is not a commendable household to grow up in. Also, babies require full attention and care. A parent who can’t be present due to personal issues might not be capable of caring for the baby. They may end up starving, unhygienic, and vulnerable to accidents. It’s best to leave them to the care of your family so that you’ll still have access to the child. However, Marymary7890’s sister could not see why she was not doing a great job as a mother. She even accused OP of stealing her baby away from her.
According to the Redditor’s post, her younger sister Jane has a 14-month-old baby named Sara. OP gained legal custody of the kid due to her sister’s lifestyle. After Jane divorced her husband, she became jobless and homeless. Those reasons already justify that Jane needed her sister’s help to ensure her baby’s welfare. Jane turned down OP at first until a stranger dropped Sara at her mother’s house. The baby was supposed to be under the father’s care, but she wore dirty clothes and an old diaper. After that, Jane accepted OP’s offer to temporarily nurture Sara.
“However, during the last 6 months, Jane has completely disappeared from Sara’s life. She doesn’t ask about her, she doesn’t make any effort to visit her. She doesn’t ask us to bring her to visit. She has gotten a job and a(n unsafe) place to stay, yet hasn’t offered to take any financial responsibility, not even in the form of buying her gifts. She doesn’t call to talk to her or see her,” Marymary7890 explained. She confronted her sister about her issues, but her reasons have a lot of loopholes. “I spoke to Jane recently about all this, and her defense is that it’s too emotionally hurtful to see Sara because of how much it hurts and how much she misses her.”
Other than emotional pain, Jane explained that she was not financially alright. She said she has no phone, car, or money to hire an Uber and buy diapers. “I told her how absolutely ridiculous all that is. You don’t need a car or money to call or text. We have always made clear we’d be willing to bring Sara to her, and she spends a wasteful amount of money on food and vapes. Even after speaking to her about the things she should or could be doing, she still has made no changes,” OP wrote. As a result, she decided to adopt Sara since she has been legally abandoned and Jane has a habit of being MIA.
Instead of seeing it as a form of help, Jane accused Marymary7890 of taking advantage of the situation. OP shared that she mentioned to Jane that she and her wife failed at IVF. Jane insisted that because the couple couldn’t biologically produce their own children, they saw Sara as an opportunity. Despite the threats, OP still won custody over Sara, and Jane kept on going missing. She completely abandoned her responsibilities as a parent. Also, according to OP’s updates, Jane hasn’t shown any improvement in making life decisions, which only supported their decision to be Sara’s guardians.
Redditors were intrigued by the story and asked questions to get some extra details. For this reason, OP clarified why she did not offer to take her sister in as well. “I don’t have space or money for an adult. Sara has a bed in our room, and we spend about $700 a month on her. There is no way we could cover an adult, too.” Marymary7890 also mentioned that they also adopted another baby. Jane staying with them and the kids might make the home unsafe since she’s been involved with questionable people. She needs her sister to have better decisions before anything else.
Aside from intrigue, people in the comment section expressed their support for OP’s decision. Others also shared their experience growing up with a parent who’s completely irresponsible and susceptible to danger. “Jumping on the top comment to say I was adopted as an adult after 14 years of abuse, 3 years of homelessness, and a couple trying to go it alone. I should have been removed, everyone knew and kept giving my parents chances. They shouldn’t have. Parents shouldn’t get much in the way of second chances,” socialistrock shared.
Children who get to be removed from a toxic household are indeed lucky, and they are saved from trauma and emotional scars, which often remain until adulthood. OP and her wife did the right thing, and many children from across the world wish to be saved by people like them. A child’s innocence shouldn’t be taken away just because their parents couldn’t be proper adults. If you were a Sara or hoped to be one, join the discussion and feel free to share your thoughts. Childhood trauma is one of the hardest things to get over, and it’s nice to know one child was saved from the chains of those experiences.